10 Things You May Not Know About Me

Let me start off by saying that I'm not proud of all of these...  :)

10.  I really wish that I had some sort of musical talent.  I can't do anything musically.  I even get embarrassed when I have to sing Happy Birthday.
9.  Fall is my favorite season!  I love everything about it; fall leaves, football, comfort food, and Thanksgiving!
8.  I love to cook but I hate to bake.  I just don't have the patience.
7.  I really wish I had some sort of creative talent.  I have so many friends that can do so many things and although I've tried several of them, I just don't have the creative niche.  Hopefully I'll find it one of these days.
6.  According to the MMPI I am elevated in the area of passive aggressiveness.  Don't make fun of me, it's probably true when I think about it.  I'll let you know in my own subtle way.  :)
5.  I hated reading as a kid but am starting to enjoy it now.  In elementary and high school I would do whatever I could to get out of reading a book.  For goodness sakes, I did a book report my senior year on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Although I have become fond of reading, I'm still embarrassed as to how long it actually takes me to get through a book.
4.  I still love kid cereal.  I don't know if it's because my mom only let us have it on Saturday mornings, but I still can't pass up a bowl of Lucky Charms or Fruity Pebbles.  Lucky for me, now I have a kid to buy it for.
3.  I'm a believer that we get more of what we are looking for.  If we look at the positive we will see more positive and visa versa.  Life's to short to focus on the negative.
2.  I'm a life long learner.  I know it sounds kind of nerdy but I love to learn.  I miss sitting in a classroom and that feeling like I am making myself better.  I am actually thinking about going back to school to get my school psych examiners license.
1.  The truth of the matter is, I want people to like me.  It's sad how much energy that I put into this and probably the reason why I fretted for almost 24 hours about what I was going to write in this blog.

Finding my place

The other night I found myself thinking about the different roles I play in this world.  (I was actually starting to feel sorry for myself as I was trying to fix dinner for Jack, unload the dishwasher, and trying to tackle the pile of laundry that was in front of me all while Jack was working late.)  I thought to myself, Does he even know that our dishes don't clean themselves, the juice fairy isn't real, or that our clothes don't wash, fold and then just magically jump in the drawers and closets?  Does he know that often times I have to do this while keeping another very active human being safe and entertained?  After the small pity party that I held for myself had ended I started to think about what my husband does...  He does all of the yard work, he financially supports our family, he allows me to be who I am (which I will admit sometimes not the most pleasant person in the world), he's an amazing dad, he shares most of the responsibilities and always empties the diaper genie!  He's there to do anything that I physically I am not capable or willing to do.  He does all of this without complaining.  After this realization I'm wondering if he ever asks himself what I do... hopefully he won't start. 
Having said this, it also got me thinking about the balance between my family and career.  I was raised in a traditional family where my mom stayed home and took care of us kids.  This is not the path that I have chosen however I'm proud to say that I am a working mom.  (Sometimes I think being a working mom also makes me a better mom.)  I own this decision... The decision to say that I'm going to let someone else spend at least 8 hours a day with my child.  The decision that some nights I literally follow him to bed.  The decision that I don't do all of the things that a "traditional" wife should do (as set forth to me by the example of my mother.)  I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with stay at home moms.  I'm sure some days are nice and quite relaxing, however I'm also sure that there are those days that never seem to end!  I'm just thankful that I am part of a generation where I can make that decision and be accepted for that.  There are days that I wish I could be a stay at home mom and other days I'm thankful that I get to go to work and interact with adults (even though some of them act like children).  I'm thankful that my husband is supportive of the decisions I have made.  I don't consider myself a feminist by any means, but I truly feel thankful that I have a choice (regardless of whatever it may be).  So for now, I will continue to try to juggle all of the roles that I play... wife, mother, sister, daughter, counselor, house keeper, chef, etc... (I could list more, but I need to get to work so I can get out of here on time and fulfill some more roles in my life.) 

Is this going to make us or break us?

I haven't blogged for quite awhile.  Our family has been very busy with lots of exciting changes that are happening in our life! 
We are relocating to Republic, Missouri this summer.  We are excited about being closer to family and the opportunities that are ahead of us.  With this has also come a lot of stress.  Finding a job, selling our house, finding another and making sure that we are all prepared for the move.  Sometimes all of this stress makes me wonder if this is the right decision for our family...  We know it is going to pay off in the long run and allow us to spend more time together so we are really trying to keep our focus on the big picture and trying to think of our current transition as temporary.  :)  I can see how moving and leaving everything you know could really make or break a relationship.  I'm happy to say that we are making it!!!  I feel like Jack and I are on the same team and working towards a common goal.  I can't think of a more supportive partner  or anyone else that I would want to  take this journey with.

Cravings

So, I've had some weird cravings lately.  (No! I'm not pregnant!!!)  I've had these hankerings for some of the strangest things, mostly for foods that I always wanted as a kid, but very seldom got.  I think that now that I'm a mom I'm figuring out 1) why I didn't get these things very often and 2) that I now have an excuse to buy them.  The other day I wanted some spaghettio's, so that's what I fixed Jack for dinner.  After one bite I thought, what was I thinking?!  Growing up I always wanted a kid cuisine meal.  I thought it was so cool how each food had it's own compartment and of course the foods were extremely kid friendly.  None of that made from scratch stuff my mom made us eat.  So, the other night, since the hubs was out of town and I was tired, I made Jack a kid cuisine with cheese ravioli.  Of course since it was a childhood dream of mine I had to sneak a bite.  Again, I was so disappointed!  The food literally felt and tasted like rubber!  My most recent craving has been for a Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie.  I've sat on this one for several days, scared that I may be let down again.  I'm wondering if it would be better to satisfy my craving and be disappointed or just have all of the hype in my head?  I'm thinking I just need to go home and have my mom make me one from scratch.   

Food for Thought

I've come to realize that it is useless to try to make heads or tails of a toddlers eating habits.  Some days I thin Jack is going to eat us out of the house other days I don't know how he survives on so little and am surprised that he doesn't blow away.  Some days he loves yogurt; other days he doesn't want anything to do with it.  He may love a food one day and hate it the next.  I've also learned that ketchup should be a food group.  If I am ever trying to get Jack to eat anything I can give him ketchup and it usually does the trick.  One day Jack was actually dipping his grapes in his ketchup, but he was eating, so who was I to stop him?!  Just the other day I gave Jack some chicken and in my efforts to try to coax him in to eating I gave him some ketchup.  He did start eating, but not his chicken.  He had used his spoon and was eating a spoonful of ketchup!  Jack's new favorite thing to do with his food is to play with it.  This can come in the form of throwing it, smashing it between his fingers, or putting it on his head.  My husband and I are struggling to manage this behavior.  I know the worst thing I can do is laugh, but that is easier said than done!  When your son throws mashed potatoes at your spouse and you look over and he's so proud because he has a piece of banana balancing on his the whole time, it's really hard not to crack a smile.  Once again, I'm the mom I swore I would never be...  more often than not I don't care what he is eating as long as he is eating and the food is ending up in his belly and not on the floor, walls, or in his hair.

I feel like a new woman!

I finally took the plunge and got almost 9 inches of hair cut off this past week.  While I was sitting in the chair at the salon I was thinking about how lucky we are as women to be able to reinvent ourselves with something as simple as a new haircut.  I am totally guilty of saying that I was going to do something drastic and when it would come down to it, I always chickened out.  Not this time...  (actually they cut the bulk of it off before I had time to change my mind.)  I was both excited and nervous to come home and show my husband.  I wasn't for sure what he would think.  I've pretty much had the same hairstyle for the 15 years that we have been together.  Would he like the new me or would he want the old me back?  I finally made it home.  I wish I could have taken a picture of Jack's face.  It was like he didn't recognize who had just walked in our house.  I think he was pleasantly surprised both at the hair and the fact that I actually did what I said I was going to do.  My new hair is spunky and even a little trendy... not two words that I would typically use when describing myself.  It's weird but my new hair has even made me feel a little more sassy.  We went to bed that night and Jack said he felt like he was getting to go to bed with a new woman.  I took this as a compliment from my husband of almost 10 years and told him that his old wife would show back up and not to get used to it.  :)

Will insert picture here soon...

Naked Christmas

Is there anything cuter than a naked kid running around?  I'm sure this is what my family was thinking as we let our 18 month old run around in buff before getting ready for bed one night while staying at my parents house; after all what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's, right?!  Just as we were all admiring this cute little body running around the house, we hear "the stream" and look down to see Jack peeing on the rug.  It should be explained here that this was not an ordinary rug, but one that was handcrafted by a person in some country that I probably can't pronounce.  One of those rugs that my mother justifies to my father as an "investment."  So, I did what any good mom would do...  I grabbed the camera and let grandma clean up the rug.  It's all fun and games until someone pees on the rug...  Funny, but when I think back to this weekend, this is one of my favorite memories.  All of getting together and just letting it all hang out.  :)  And yes, this picture made the Christmas card.